I need to find a way to sell some things. There are things in life that I want but cant get. It’s not like I want a lot of things at all or even expensive for the matter but somehow I’m never able to have or save the money I already to have for these things. Maybe one day I’ll get everything I’ve ever wanted. But until then. Waiting.
Iphone notes no. 4 I think
Is it safe to lay in a cemetery alone in the evening?
But it’s quiet.
The dead are quiet.
And that’s nice.
I’m not one for drinking. In fact I hate the taste of alcohol but lately I’ve been having visions of myself laughing and being stupidly tipsy. The inside of my mouthing tasting sweet with artificial fruit flavoring with the bitter taste of poison on my tongue.
I can see myself dancing. I’m not wearing very many clothes but I’m happy as i try to tell a story I think is hilarious but not really making any sense. There’s a warm feeing of intoxication taking over me, flowing through the vanes of my blood and the wires of my mind. Everything’s a little blurry but not to the point where I don’t know my left foot from my right. At the end of the night I spend the night in the arms of a man who holds me deep and smells of sweat and camp fire smoke. He caress my hair back from my face and whispers how beautiful I am when I let go. when I am free. I laugh a breathily giggle and nuzzle my face into his side and breath out a heavy sigh before looking him in the face. He smiles a tipsy smile and kisses me deeply mixing our sweet and bitter flavors together. Before I know it the room is spinning but not from the toxic liquid in my blood. No. But from the intoxication of his hands on my waist and our lips in sync. Then everything fades to dark.
And my dreams are filled with sweetness before the morning dawns and the bitter reality pushes it’s way back into my eyes.
No one understands my intense fear of grasshoppers.
iPhone notes no.1